tea&theory

daughertyallie replied to your post: Reality TV

“Are You My Mother?” Best one. Not sure if you’re aware of this, but there is a show called “Parking Wars.” It’s about people going around and giving out tickets to people parked in areas like say, a Wendy’s where they might not have been a patron…

I hate the world.

It amazes me, just a little bit, because most of it’s either incredibly boring OR it’s horrific OR it’s just weirdly forced.

The boring: Shows like…what is it, “Little People, Big World”? Is that what it’s called? (Just googled it, that’s what it’s called). Isn’t this a show about midgets? Why do I want to watch that? Because they’re short? Here’s what I assume about midgets—it’s hard for them to reach/see stuff, and maybe to drive. They probably handle it the way I would if I were a midget, which is to have a stool easily accessible most of the time, stand further away from counters, and have a custom-made car.

Great, definitely don’t need to watch that. Same with that show about having 2356034859732309485643 kids. I assume it’s kind of like having a bunch of people living together and maybe having other people question your lifestyle, which I can imagine pretty well. They probably eat a lot of whole grains. So.

The horrific: These are the shows that showcase things that should be idiosyncratic, freakish experiences but aren’t. Like, okay, if I see something on the TV Guide called ‘I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”, I would expect that it be a one-time special or Lifetime movie, and I’d be like “okay, well that’s really weird and you should be the only one who’s had that experience”. BUT IT’S NOT. THERE ARE ENOUGH PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE PREGNANT TO MAKE AN ENTIRE SHOW ABOUT IT. Not even a miniseries! A show with multiple episodes!(!)!!!!

The weirdly forced: OMGGG GUYZ LETZ AUDIIZON PPL FROM ALL OVER 4 A SHOW WHERE THEY LV IN A HOUZ IN NEW JERSEY OH DEY GOTTA BE ITALIAN AN TAN 2 SO DEN WE FOLLOW THEM WHILE THEY SELL T-SHIRTS AND HAVE SEX OR NOT HAVE SEX W/ EACH OTHER OR OTHER PPL!

or

Let’s have an elimination-style tournament where people compete to find the “love of their life” #lulz

I hate it. That’s not to say I don’t have ideas for it.

Without further ado, Jeanette’s ideas for reality shows (in keeping with current trends).

“Just Because I’m Tall”—a show that follows tall teenagers around as they’re asked time and time again whether or not they play basket and/or volleyball. Lots of talking head cutaways where we get to dive deep into their psychological states.

“Barren & Lovin’ It!”—a show about a married couple who are infertile but didn’t want kids anyway so they just don’t care and go on with their lives.

“iLidz”—a show about people who are overly conscious of their eyelids.

“Oh No, I Accidentally Stole the Declaration of Independence!” —self explanatory. And only Nic Cage is in this. Every episode.

”@%$#$% Took My SPOT!!!” — a show about handicapped people who go OFF on those people who park in the blue spaces without tags/use the wrong bathroom stalls.

“I Didn’t Know I Was a Platypus!” —a reality show where platypuses look in mirrors.

“Are You My Mother?” — a show where a man given up in an adoption with sealed records lives in a house with fifteen women who are 20-25 years older than he is and tries to determine which lady holds the key to his past/residual psychological issues by taking them on dates in helicopters and watching them complete physical challenges like scaling a glass wall covered in mud.